In her own words; my grandma's final "words of wisdom"

I've never written about my grandma.  I couldn't even say the eulogy at her funeral.   The reason?  I've never been able to come up with the words to explain how much I loved her, how much she meant to me, how much I miss her every day.


Her death was the event I dreaded most in my then 27 years on earth.  At her funeral so many people-my sister, cousins, aunt, mom, her friends all described her as their best friend.  She had that way about her-she made you feel important, special. But, to say she was my best friend doesn't do it justice.  She was so many things to me.  My confidant.  My date when I was the only single one at family dinners.  She taught me about love and self-esteem.  In third grade-she was the one who had to answer me when I opened my big fat mouth and asked, "Grandma, what's sex?"  You better believe she gave me some juicy details.  She taught me what matters and what doesn't.  She showed me how to savor the world around me-relish every sunset and every time Mount Rainer emerged from the clouds.  She was who I have always hoped to grow up and be.

Today would have been her 96th birthday. I wish more than anything I could drive down her winding driveway today, honk my horn twice (like we all used to do) and wish her a happy birthday.  I'm comforted by a conversation we had in the days before she died.  She said, "Honey, I'll always be with you.  Not sitting like this, but sort of like this."

I recorded our final conversations (without her knowing-she would have killed me)-because I couldn't stand the thought of never hearing her voice again. It was one of the smartest things I've ever done. I leave the recorder in my nightstand and once in a while-when I feel like I need my grandma, I can hear her again. It's comforting. Some of my family has never heard the recordings so I'll post it here for them. Hope this brings them the same comfort it's brought me. Please note-that terrible snoring noise in the background of the recording is "Doc" grandma's pug.

"Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do.  Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children."  ~Alex Haley